“I did when I found out, but it’s all good now,” he states simply.
We continue to catch up for a while until the girls eventually join us again. Candace has a smile on her face when she sits next to me on the couch as she continues to talk with Traci and Mel. Max and Zane are in their own conversation while I find myself focused on Candace. She’s happy and light-hearted tonight in this new circle of people. She’s so tight with Jase and Mark, but I’d like to see her widen her group of friends. She needs it even though she doesn’t see it.
On the drive home, I look over at her and ask, “Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, Mel’s pretty funny.”
“She definitely keeps things entertaining at work,” I say with a grin. “So what did you talk about? We kept hearing you all laughing.”
“Traci was just talking about her pregnancy. I was a little shocked with some of the things she was telling us,” she says with a dramatic shudder.
Laughing at her, I ask, “Like what?”
“Stuff I had no clue about,” she tells me in a high-pitched voice, reeling with disbelief. “She told us that she has hemorrhoids!”
“What?!”
“Yes!” she squeals.
“I don’t wanna know about that shit,” I say, disgusted.
“Well, I don’t either, but I do now, thanks to Traci!” she says as she begins to laugh, and I join right in with her. “She said that most pregnant women get them! It’s so gross!”
“Shit, are you serious?”
“Mel said it was true too.”
We both continue laughing as she fills me in on more than I ever wanted to know, and the theatrics of Candace telling me all of this and freaking out is completely entertaining when I’m not cringing at the unwanted information.
Once we have quieted down and composed ourselves, I look over as we’re stopped at a red light and ask, “Do you think that’s something you want?”
“What? A baby?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know,” she says softly. “I’ve always been scared to be a mom.”
“Why’s that?”
When she leans her head back against the seat, she tells me, “Because I’m not sure I know what it is to be a good mom. I mean . . . how would you know if the choices you were making were the wrong ones? I wonder if my mom thought she was making the right choices with me.”
She says this and I understand her fears. I get it because they’re my fears. Scared to become what we are products of. But I know that she would have nothing to worry about because she’s the most non-judgmental person I know.
“But I don’t have to think about that for a long time,” she adds.
“Why’s that?” I ask, when I pull up to the loft and park the car.
“Because dancers don’t have babies until they are done with their professional careers. Your body changes too much, so the likelihood that the way you dance would be impacted is high. It’s just not something you toy with if you want longevity,” she explains. “What about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” she says as she shifts herself to face me.
“I’ve always wanted what my cousins have, but never saw it in the cards for me,” I tell her. “But when I really think about it, it scares the shit out of me too.”
“Because of your dad?”
I nod my head and when she smiles up at me, she says, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
I lean over and kiss her before giving her sentiment right back. “I don’t think you do either. You’re amazing at everything you do.”
Making our way inside, she turns to me and asks, “You wanna camp out and watch a movie?”
“Anything you want.” I tell her as we head upstairs to change clothes.
When we return to the living room, I get the fireplace going while Candace tosses a bunch of pillows and blankets onto the floor and flips the TV to TCM. I love sharing my black and white movies with her, and lately, I’m finding that she’s starting to get into them as well.
Lying down, pulling Candace into my arms, we relax and watch ‘Bank Holiday.’ I lazily comb my fingers through her hair, and we fall asleep before the movie ends.
Waking up in the middle of the night, Candace is sleeping along my side, and the fire is almost out. When I pick up the remote to shut the TV off, the screen reads that it’s almost two in the morning. Setting the remote down, I roll over to look down at Candace, and my shifting causes her to stir awake.
It takes a moment, but when her eyes flutter open and she focuses on me, we stay silent as we watch each other in the faint glow of the firelight. When I lean in to kiss her, she runs her hand behind my neck, pulling me down to her. I slide my tongue across her lower lip before sucking it into my mouth, and she grips my neck tighter. Her body is flush against mine, and I begin to lift her shirt so that I can feel the warmth of her on my skin. Discarding her top, I reach back and remove mine as well before bringing her back to me. The room is silent as our bodies begin to move as the haze from our sleep dissipates.
When I roll on top of her, I drag my head down the center of her body, letting my lips move along her smooth skin. Licking and sucking my way down, her hands are holding the sides of my head, and when I hit her pants, she lifts her hips, allowing me to pull them off, keeping her lace panties in place.