“What the hell is your problem, kid?”
“I’m sorry. It was an accident.”
Quickly grabbing a towel to clean up the juice I spilled that is now pooling under his briefcase, large hands grab my neck and shoulder. He abruptly throws me onto the floor, and the force of his strength sends me flying into the center island. The sharp corner pierces my back and sends a fire of pain up my spine as my head ricochets hard against the wood. I hear the crack and start crying. I’m scared he’s gonna get more upset with me if he sees the damage.
I lie on the floor, avoiding eye contact, and grip the back of my head. I can already feel the bump growing.
“I’m sorry. It was an accident,” he sneers, throwing my words back at me as he slings a dishtowel at me. “Clean this shit up.”
That crack has been there since I was seven years old. It’s such a faint line that I doubt my mother has ever noticed it.
“I’m calling it a night,” Tori announces as she walks in and gives me a hug, pulling me out of my past.
“Early morning. Let’s try and head out around seven.”
“Sounds good,” she says before she turns back to the living room to tell my mother goodnight and then heads upstairs.
My eyes shift back to the crack briefly as I turn to go into the other room. I walk over and sit down with my mom on the couch.
“How are you doing, darling?” she asks, patting my knee as I get comfortable.
Thinking back to my conversation with Tori in the water, I ask, “Are you happy, Mom?”
“Where is this coming from?” she questions, and I mindlessly find myself rubbing the back of my head where that bump from twenty-one years ago doesn’t exist anymore, but the memory still does.
“You’re all alone here in this house. I worry.”
“I’ve always been alone in this house.”
She never remarried after my dad died. I haven’t even known her to date. We’ve never talked about it, but I just figured she was too scared.
“Can I ask you something?” I say as I turn to her.
“Anything.”
“How come you never sold this house?” I wonder if the past still haunts her like it does me.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s filled with so many bad memories.”
“But it’s filled with so many good ones too, dear.” She smiles when she continues, “I remember holding you in my arms when I brought you home from the hospital. This is our home. It always has been. The one thing that bastardized this place is gone.” She pats my knee as she says this. Nervous reflex. She isn’t convinced of her own words. I’m good at reading people, especially her. “What about you?”
“Me?”
“Are you happy?”
I dig my thumbnail under the damp label on my beer bottle. Nervous reflex. I’m sure she sees it too. We are good at reading each other like that.
“I worry about you,” she says softly.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m good. Business is good,” I assure her.
She leans back on the couch and lets out a sigh as she says, “I don’t doubt that work is good, but I wonder how much longer you plan on keeping up like you are. I wonder when you’ll decide to slow down and settle.”
“You know why I don’t settle, Mom.” This is no secret between us. She has always known why I’ve never gotten involved with anyone. She knows my fears. I tell my mother nearly everything.
“You’re nothing like him,” she affirms sternly, and when I look at her, I deny her words.
“I’m a lot like him.”
She doesn’t respond, and I feel bad for cheapening her words. “Sorry.”
“It hurts me to know this is how you think of yourself. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to find someone that you can be happy with.”
“I want the same for you,” I tell her.
“I know you do, but you’re young. You have time on your side.”
I can’t help but laugh. “God, Mom, you act like you’re a blue-haired lady at the bingo hall.”
She laughs with me and says, “You know what I mean.”
“I know.” Letting out a deep yawn, I take the last swallow of my beer and lean in to kiss her on the cheek. “I’m gonna hit the sack. Tor and I are headed to Indian in the morning.”
“What time will you guys be back?”
“Around ten or so.”
“I’ll cook you kids breakfast.”
I smile at her referring to us as kids and say, “I love you, Mom,” as I stand up and look down at her.
“Love you, too.”
Chapter Three
Before the water gets too busy, Tori and I decide to call it and head back to shore. Tossing our boards aside, we sit and take a breather. The morning is cool, and the sun rising behind us casts a glow across the water. People filter in, trying to get as much of the sun as they can before the season changes and the rain and grey haze finds its home for the rest of the year. Personally, I love the darkness.
“I gotta head back tomorrow,” Tori tells me as she unzips her wetsuit and tugs her arms out of it.
I start doing the same, saying, “I thought you were gonna stay for a few days.”
“I was, but Trevor called late last night, and he just got a big case, so he has to go in this weekend.” She digs her feet into the packed sand and shrugs, “Life of an attorney.”