“I ended the date early.”
Her eyes got big and she wrinkled her nose up at me. “You had him take you home early?”
I sighed and tossed my paper cup of now-lukewarm coffee into the trash.
“He was a jerk and so full of himself. His friends were appalling and the party was really just a group of people standing around trying to outdo each other. I was uncomfortable and bored, so I called a friend and left early. Dr. Bennet and I are really not compatible.”
She gave me a considering look.
“The guy with the nose ring?”
“What about him?”
“Is that the friend you called?”
I refused to feel bad about it or ashamed. There was nothing wrong with Nash. In fact there was so much right with him I was having a hard time remembering why I needed to watch my tender heart and fragile feelings around him in the first place.
“Yes.”
She made a noise and followed me out of the room. One of the medical assistants handed me a new file and told me there was a patient waiting in one of the rooms for me.
“I know based on first glance you wouldn’t think he was a really nice guy, but really he is.”
She shrugged and started walking the other direction from me. “What I think really doesn’t matter, I guess. Do you even realize that you’ve been grinning all day? I’ve never seen you do that. You always look so serious and intent, but today”—she took her index fingers and tugged up the corners of her own mouth—“you are just one big ball of cheer. That makes me happy for you. I don’t care who put the smile there, Saint, I just care that it stays.”
I was smiling, I hadn’t really thought about it. I was also sore and tired, had a hickey on my collarbone, and my favorite pair of black underwear was in the trash. I would also never be able to rock my knee-high boots again without having X-rated recollections of last night. I still wasn’t a hundred percent sold on the fact I could get involved with a guy who had disappointed me so much in the past, that I could trust all these things he was making me feel about him and about myself, but there was no denying I felt lighter, more normal than I ever had with a guy before.
He was the only one I had managed to have a normal, sexy, and sensual time with and I wanted that, wanted more than that really, if he was willing to offer it up. Not only did I desire this Nash, I think I actually liked him and had to admit that I cared about him. We were so entangled in this entire thorny mess I wasn’t sure how either one of us could get out of it without drawing some kind of blood and suffering pricks of irritation.
I didn’t have the luxury of turning it over in my head to the point of exhaustion. My second shift was just as busy as my first, and by the time I crawled home, I was too tired to function, let alone contemplate what I was going to do about Nash or about us. I worked the next two days in a row, and though I wanted to text Nash or give him a call to let him know I was at least thinking about him, I couldn’t seem to find the right words. On the third day I decided to do something out of the box. I sent him flowers to the tattoo shop, a pretty bouquet of roses in red, yellow, and orange that matched the fire tattooed all over him. The colors were fitting in another way as well. Red meant romance and maybe even love, yellow was kindness and friendship, and the orange passion and enthusiasm … we had those last two covered for sure. I did it partly because the idea of sending a big, tattooed brute of a guy flowers made me laugh, and partly because I wanted to show him that he was on my mind.
I didn’t stop to think if he would think it was dumb, didn’t get insecure or worry about how he would take it. I just did it and sent along a card that simply said: Thanks. I was thankful for the ride, thankful for the night in my bed, and mostly thankful for him just being him. I hoped he would understand all of it.
By the end of the day, I got a picture text message of the giant bouquet sitting in the center of the desk in the very masculine shop. No one was in the picture, but several pairs of tattooed hands were in the background throwing up the devil horns in approval. It made me laugh. Nash’s response was short and sweet:
Never got flowers before … They are as pretty as you are.
Thank you.
I didn’t know what to say to that, but it made me feel like everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong. I sent him back a smiley face and went back to work. Work was always my go-to when I had things in my life that I couldn’t seem to get a handle on.
When I got home that night I was going to call him finally but was waylaid by an emergency phone call from Faith. Apparently my mom had run into Dad’s new girlfriend at the grocery store and an ugly scene had ensued. Things had been broken, property had been damaged, and my mom ended up with assault charges leveled at her. Faith had begged Dad to convince his girlfriend not to press charges, knowing Mom would pay for the things in the store she had destroyed, but he was zero help. He wanted Mom to get help, to get over it, and I couldn’t say I totally disagreed with him. The whole situation sounded ridiculous and completely out of control. My mom had gone too far, and my words about not wanting to bail her out of jail were coming back to haunt me.
It was either have Faith load all the kids up in the car and drive her pregnant self to Brookside in order to bail Mom out, or bite the bullet and do it myself. Of course that was the only option even though it was absolutely something I didn’t want to do. So I left work, drove up to the mountain, and went and bailed my mother out of the slammer. It was ludicrous and like something off a cheesy reality-TV show, and it made me really wish I had managed to find the time to touch base with Nash because for some reason, talking to him always made me feel better.
My mother was less than thrilled to see me. Maybe because she was embarrassed. Maybe because she was covered in some kind of unidentified sticky substance and was sporting smudged makeup and an unmistakable black eye. Or maybe it was because she was led into the waiting room of the tiny precinct by a police officer younger than me still wearing handcuffs and looking pitiful. Or maybe it was because he was calmly telling her not to miss her court date and that she might want to consider starting anger management classes because the judge was sure to require them for her.
She caught sight of me and her head dropped a little. I took her arm and guided her out the front door and into my car. She didn’t say a word to me, but I could see that she was crying silently. I was torn between the urge to hug her and the urge to throttle her, but my frustration at her, the situation, and the state of the family had reached its breaking point.