“I’m sure that’s not true,” I assert weakly.
Jake’s only response is a single harsh bark of laughter.
TWELVE: Jake
Laney’s worked quietly all day. And I’ve let her. She’s got some shit to sort out on her own. She doesn’t need my help. And I wouldn’t know how to help her anyway. I suck at family issues. Actually, I suck at family period. Whatever part of me that might’ve been good at being in a relationship of any kind died with my mother a long, long time ago. I’ve learned since then that “stick and move” doesn’t just keep you from getting punched in boxing; it’s a philosophy that can help you survive real life, too.
Besides, I wouldn’t want to give Laney the wrong idea. That’s not what this is about it. It’s not what we are about. I don’t want her getting attached to me. Have some fun, yeah. Have some sex, hell yeah. But get attached? Not a good idea. I’m not the kind of guy she needs.
It’s getting close to dinnertime now, though, and I’ve got a mission to tend to—get Laney back in my bed tonight. And under me.
I figure it’s just a matter of time before she says it wouldn’t be right for us to share a room. What do I say? Bullshit! That’s a cop-out. If she wants to stop being a good girl, she can start with me. I’m about as good at bringing out the bad in a girl as a man can be.
And bringing it out in a woman like Laney will be the sweetest of all.
My phone rings as I cross the yard to the back door of the house. I glance at the Caller ID and see the department’s main number on the screen. I stop and hit the green button. After a few short sentences exchanged, I hang up and slide the phone into my pocket.
Just like that, in a single act as simple as answering the phone, my plans to seduce Laney tonight are shot all to hell. With a sigh, I continue on to the house, detouring toward the dining room where Laney works.
Her head is bent over the table, her eyes focused on some papers. When I lean against the doorjamb, it creaks, giving me away. Her head snaps up. When she sees me, her lips curve into a welcoming smile.
“I didn’t hear you. How long have you been standing there?”
“Just a few seconds. Didn’t mean to scare you.” I push away from the doorway and move to bend casually over Laney’s shoulder, as if to see what she’s working on. Her light scent teases my nose, and I heard her catch her breath when my chest brushes her arm. “What are you working on now?”
“Um, just the contents of the safe. There’s a lot of paperwork in there to go over.”
I can practically hear her pulse jumping around. I know she wants me. And I know it makes her uncomfortable. She doesn’t quite know what to do with it. But that makes only one of us, because I know exactly what to do with it! Just not tonight.
With a sigh, I straighten away from her. No sense getting both of us all excited when I have to leave.
Dammit!
“One of the other firemen called in sick. Seems like all the shit work is gonna go to the new guy. You know how that goes.”
Laney turns toward me. “Oh,” she says, disappointment clearly written across her face. Perversely, I’m satisfied to see it. “Okay. I’ll feed the dog until you get back.”
“No need. There are food and water dispensers for him out in the barn. He knows how to work them.”
“I wondered why he wasn’t very interested in the food I was giving him.”
“You fed the dog?”
“Of course! I bought some cans of food at the store. I thought you’d just left him here to starve.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Sort of. At first, I really did think that. But then, when he wouldn’t eat the food I put out, I thought maybe you’d made arrangements for someone to feed him elsewhere, like at a neighboring farm or something. I mean, he disappears for hours during the day. I figured he had to be eating somewhere.”
“I appreciate your confidence in me, but—”
“I only thought it for a second . . .”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
“Really. I don’t think you’re that kind of person. Not really.”
“Good to know,” I reply tersely. I’m a little irritated that she could think so little of me, even for a second.
When the silence stretches on, she speaks. “Well, when will you be home?”
For the space of a few accelerated heartbeats, I feel a wave of panic suffocate me. Hearing her say it that way—“When will you be home?”—makes it sound like I’m answerable to her. Like I’m in a relationship. Responsible for not breaking her heart. Or hurting her. Like I’m something to her that I could never be.
But then it’s gone. It ebbs once I remind myself that we aren’t playing house, and she’s not mine to care for. I remind myself that there’s no obligation. She’s staying in my home for a reason, one that has nothing to do with me.
“I’m not sure. I guess you’ll know when I show up,” I say nonchalantly, hoping to subtly drive my point home. To her as much as to myself.
She doesn’t react.
“I guess so,” she agrees quietly. “I hope it, uh, goes well then. And safe. Luckily there aren’t a lot of fires in Greenfield.”
“Yeah, but that makes for an incredibly boring shift.”
“Probably still better than hanging around here, though. I’m sure I’m terrible company.” Her tone is full of melancholy.
This is undoubtedly a bad time for me to be leaving. I mean, she did just have a big-ass fight with her dad. In public, no less. And partly over me. If it were me, I’d want to be alone. But with Laney, I bet she’d rather not be. She wouldn’t want too much time to think, I bet.
“You could always come and visit. Break up the monotony. I could show you around the station. You know, they’re pretty impressive places. Second only to the International Space Station.”
She grins. “Oh, I’m sure. All that mind-boggling technology, like . . . water hoses and big red trucks.”
“Don’t underestimate. Getting things wet is one of my favorite pastimes.”
Her cheeks pinken and she looks away, although I can see her lips twitch. She seems to be getting a little less defensive with every comment I make. And I like that she’s loosening up. It just further assures me that I’ll have her right where I want her in no time.