“Why not? We’ve never really discussed our future with each other…have we?”
I swallowed hard, those damn butterflies making an appearance in my insides.
“Of course,” he went on, “I’m being a twat in assuming that I’m actually in your future…”
I gazed at him steadily, my eyes focusing on his ear, where just the tip had been left scarred from his encounter with the voodoo priestess in New Orleans. “Dex. I just got a tattoo for you. I let some humorless dude brand me with a needle and ink in a place I look every single day.” I waved my wrist at him. “Of course you’re in my future. You’re the only thing I know about the future.”
His eyes blazed passionately before he broke his stare. “Then if that’s true…where do you see us?”
Now what was he getting at? What did he want me to say? That in five years I wanted to be married to him, to have his babies, to be putting up a white picket fence? These were dreams that I rarely allowed myself to entertain…none of that ever seemed possible for us, no matter how in love we were.
“I see us…happy,” I answered feebly.
“Doing the show?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. It doesn’t feel like enough, if you know what I mean.” His blank stare told me he didn’t. So much for mind reading. “I mean, I think, I feel, like the show is a means to an end for now…but it’s also the beginning of something, not the end. I think one day we’ll be doing something that’s more…respectable. Something that matters.”
“And me?”
“And you’re there with me. I don’t know what it is, but we’re doing it together.”
“I don’t think you can count wild monkey sex as a career, Perry.”
“I’m counting it as a perk,” I said with a smile. “But I think we’re both destined for something more. I’ve always felt that, right from the very start. I think in five, ten years, Experiment in Terror will be a memory. A scary, kind of fun and meaningful memory, but something in the past.”
“And we could be living in Seattle…or Seaside…”
I took my hand off his knee and started pushing my fingers into the cool sand. “Anywhere. San Francisco. Boston. Anywhere. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”
I could feel his eyes boring into me, and by the time I looked back up, he had taken out his phone and was glancing at it. “We oughta get back to Rebecca. She’s probably getting sucked into a timeshare by now or getting cotton candy stuck in her hair.”
Dex helped me up off the log and took his sweet time brushing the sand and bark off my backside. When we were back at the Lewis and Clark statue at the end of the promenade, he put his arm around me and pulled me in close. “Are you ready to say hi to Uncle Al and your dopey cousins?”
Are you ready to start making amends with your family, is what he was really asking, even though my uncle Al was barely part of the equation.
I let the strength and warmth of Dex’s hold wash over me and nodded. As long as he was at my side, I’d manage.
At least I’d try.
CHAPTER FOUR
It was just before seven when Dex pulled the Highlander down a coastal lane past the beach town of Manzanita. Uncle Al’s property took up a large chunk of land that I was sure the state was eager to own. There were pastures and an abandoned barn where an old dairy farm used to be, a couple of miles of beachfront, as well as a small forest that dipped into the shores of Nehalem Bay. And, of course, somewhere on the bluffs, the charred remains of a lighthouse that may or may not have blown up on our behalf.
“God, this is weird,” Dex said under his breath as we parked at the end of Uncle Al’s driveway. The house, a large rancher, looked the same, and my twin cousins, Matt and Tony, had their two cars parked outside. I remembered Matt’s truck well—Dex and I had to share the backseat together rather awkwardly.
“Oh, it wasn’t awkward for me,” Dex said with a knowing smirk as he jammed the Highlander in park.
I flushed at the unexpected intrusion. “Could you hear me think that?”
He slid his hand across the steering wheel. “First time in a while, but it was so worth it.”
“You heard her thoughts?” Rebecca asked, leaning forward. “Lucky duck. I never hear anything.”
I gave her a look. “You know you’re not missing out.”
“Well now I want to know what wasn’t awkward.”
Dex turned to her. “Perry and I were squeezed in the back of that old truck there while we went down the road. Her boobs were banging around from the potholes and I was trying to keep my massive erection hidden.”
She wrinkled her face. “Ugh. Nevermind, you guys keep your thoughts to yourself.”
I frowned, both turned on and strangely flattered. “You had an erection from that?”
Rebecca’s manicured nails fluttered in my face. “I said, keep your bloody thoughts to yourself. I don’t want to hear about anyone’s erections. Boobs, maybe.”
Dex sighed. “Rebecca, you’re missing out on so many beautiful wonders about the male body.” He gave me a sly look. “And yes, I had a hard-on most of the time I was around you. Why do you think I was so fidgety? It wasn’t always the meds, baby. It was your tits and ass and face and everything else I thought I could never have.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that, at finding out what he first thought of me. And now I wanted to prod him for more. God, I was such a doofus.
Fortunately Rebecca was spared from further tidbits because the front door to the house swung open and Uncle Al appeared in the doorway, eyeing us suspiciously like we were lost tourists or trespassers.
I took in a deep breath. “We better get out and say hello before he pulls a Clint Eastwood on us.”
We climbed out of the car, the scent of the dunes and meats grilling on the BBQ bringing me back again.
I’d last seen my uncle and cousins in December, so there wasn’t much difference to them over the last six months. But oh, wait. Behind the jovial grin of Uncle Al and his thinning slicked back hair was the look of a man in peace, a man in love. Before I had a chance to wonder if he was still with the woman he had been seeing, I saw her appear behind him: a tiny woman with vivid eyes and a long, delicate face. Marda, I think her name was.