I never thought someone’s bedroom could give me heart palpitations, but I suppose I had never met someone like Javier. The lights were off but the room had a soft glow thanks to a few candles on the bedside tables, those giant old ones that had years of wax dripping from the tapers and onto the carved silver holders. Rose petals were scattered on top of the black satin sheets, trailing off onto the floor. In some ways it would have been completely cheesy and straight out of a movie (what, was he going to hold a boombox above his head and stand outside the window?) except for the fact that I saw a red silk blindfold and a long grey tie displayed prominently on the bed.
“Don’t be nervous,” he said, placing the red wine and glasses on the dresser. He took my overnight bag out of my hands and placed it neatly on the floor then he poured us both a glass of wine, while I stood there, my eyes locked to the blindfold and tie, trying to keep my knees from locking together.
“Drink up,” he said, putting the glass in my hand and raising the ruby red liquid to my lips.
I finished off the glass in a few gulps and he quickly refilled it. I finished that one too. He took the glass and placed it on the dresser. “Don’t have too much. You don’t want to cloud your senses.”
I was pretty sure that’s exactly what I wanted.
He stood in front of me and took off his maroon tie, flinging it on the bed so it landed beside the other one. Then he slowly took off his dark grey dress shirt, button by button. His eyes were lit from the candles, dancing in the flames. I felt like it was my cue to start undressing too, so when I found the feeling in my fingers again, I started to lift up my tank top.
“No, angel,” he told me with a slow shaking of his head. He quickly shed his suit jacket and shirt, until he was bare-chested. I spied the name “Maria” tattooed in script on his inner bicep.
He came over to me and put his hands where mine were on the edge of my shirt. “I’ll be undressing you. I’ll be doing everything.”
I swallowed hard, trying to figure out who Maria was while trying to keep my cool. My legs really were shaking now. This was really happening.
“Everything?” I asked, my voice trembling.
He slowly raised my shirt until it was over my head and let it drop casually to the floor. He pressed his chest up against mine while reaching behind with one hand. With a deft maneuver he unclasped my bra and that too fell beneath me.
He sucked in his breath as his hands went to my br**sts, slowly squeezing them, feeling their weight in his hands. My ni**les were hard instantly and his thumbs began circling them. “Everything,” he whispered, bring his mouth to my ear. His hot tongue came out and did a sweep along the rim, ending at the lobe where he suckled on it, biting lightly. “Everything,” he said again, sending visible shivers down my back.
His hands went to my jeans and undid the button. He pulled down the zipper in a deliberate manner, as if he were unzipping my heart. He tugged at the jeans, pushing them down to my feet where I stepped out of them. He didn’t linger on my scars, didn’t comment, he just took me by the hand and led me over to the bed.
“Lie down, my angel. On your stomach.”
I paused at the foot of the bed while he went to the side table and brought out a box of condoms and a tube of lubricant. I knew the fear was showing in my eyes because he gave me a soothing look, his voice matching it.
“Please, lie down.”
“What are you going to do to me?” I stammered, still not moving.
“Nothing that you’ll fear.” He gestured to the bed, palm open. “Now, please?”
I could see a flash of impatience in his eyes, and instead of using that to run away, I instead did as he asked. I believed I had nothing to fear. I believed I only had something to lose.
I lay down on my stomach beside the ties and the blindfold, completely conscious of how silly—how vulnerable—I must have looked, being buck-ass naked and everything.
Javier’s face lit up at the sight and he quickly undid his pants. As before, he was commando and his erection was large and impossible to take your eyes off of. My heart continued to beat erratically. I didn’t know how I was going to be ready for him. He was going to hurt me without meaning to. I felt the blood rushing between my legs, pulsing eagerly.
He came right beside the bed, his c**k pointing my way, throbbing as it waited for me. He reached over and picked up the blindfold and ties.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said, reading my thoughts. “But you can’t just hand over your virginity to me, Eden. I have to take it from you. I have to make you surrender to me, to everything, in every way possible. I want your heart, your soul, and your body. I want the you that you’re hiding deep inside. I must have her.”
Carefully, he slipped the blindfold over my eyes, tying it behind my head.
“Is that okay?” he asked soothingly.
I nodded, even though everything was scarier and more dangerous without my sight, even though I didn’t know if he was asking about the blindfold or whether it was okay if he took everything from me. I opened my eyes but could see nothing but an inky redness. Every pore on my body was suddenly alive and I jumped a little as I felt him gently take my hands behind my back, tying them together with the silky ties.
“Am I supposed to be your submissive?” I found myself mumbling into the pillow, my thoughts going back to some of the disturbing p**n I had watched the other day.
He chuckled good-naturedly. “Submissive? I’m sorry to disappoint you my angel, but I don’t run with that crowd. Perhaps you’ll submit to me tonight, but after that, I’ll be the one submitting to you.”
He let go of my hands and I heard the snap of the lube bottle closing. I held my breath, my body poised and waiting to find out where he was going to touch me next. I felt his fingers, wet from the lube, going between my legs. I stiffened, afraid he was going about this completely the wrong way, but his fingers settled on my cleft instead. Was he seriously going to do it like this? I knew doggy-style was popular but not when it came to losing your virginity.
“How does that feel?” he whispered as he trailed kisses down my spine. I didn’t know what to say. Good? It felt better than good. The touch of his lips was magnified by the darkness, the feel of his wet fingers stroking me until it was almost unbearable. But despite how good it felt, I was still scared. I knew it was going to hurt no matter what way he took me, and I only hoped the pain would be short lived. I wanted it to end in the bedroom and not follow me for the years afterward, trailing like a cloud of smoke.