“Well, the first is that Lila was actually behind the present idea, so I’m blaming any cheesiness factor on her. And the pie ordeal. She said I should bake for you as part of the surprise, even though I told her I’d end up burning the pie.” She pauses, rubbing her hand across her face anxiously. “And the second is that I’m not really sure if this”—she waves her hand at the wrapped object—“is a present or not.” She frowns as she stares off into empty space. “I’m still trying to figure it out.”
She’s got me fucking worried, but I attempt to remain calm as I reach her. “Can I open it?”
Her chest rises and falls as she breathes in and out. Then her gaze collides with mine. She doesn’t utter a word, just nods.
I reach out to rip the paper off. “I feel so nervous,” I admit as my fingers brush across the paper.
“I feel like I’m going to throw up,” she mutters quietly.
My heart is hammering in my chest and blood rushes in my eardrums. I’m so freaking worried I seriously expect to find an ‘I’m Divorcing You’ painted on the canvas hidden behind the green and gold paper. But, as I rip the paper off, I discover a canvas painted with a very intriguing map. Well, not necessarily a map, but a row of images that make up a map of our lives together.
“It tells you a story,” she whispers, watching me as I study the painting. “A story that leads to an infinitely and always ending, I hope.”
I feel a shift in the air as my gaze skims across the map. The first image is of her and me standing on opposite sides of the fence when we’re four years old. Then the paint brightens and alters in deeper colors as it creates our first kiss on a swing set when we were fourteen. Then the shades darken to greys, blacks, and charcoals as the scene transforms into us kissing on the bridge in the rain that night that changed our lives forever. After that, the lines sweep up and brighten at the replay of our wedding day in the snow, in our spot on the shore of the lake. I smile at that one, basking in the emotions connected to one of the best memories of my life. Finally, I arrive the end, but as soon as I see it, it doesn’t feel like an end. It feels like a beginning.
My expression falters at the soft colors created with delicacy, as if each stroke of the brush meant something. The picture is of Ella and me in front of our house, but we’re not alone. Standing between us is a little girl with red hair like Ella’s and aqua eyes the same shade as mine.
“I don’t know if it’s going to be a girl,” she says quietly as I stare at the painting in astonishment. “In fact, I was originally going to paint a boy, but when I actually started to paint it, it came out a girl, probably because I keep dreaming it’s going to be a girl.”(
That’s when what she’s telling me really clicks.
I turn my head and look at her with uncertainty. Not because of my own feelings, but because I fear what’s going on with her. She’s been so afraid of being a mother, and I’m not sure if she’s happy, sad, scared, or what.
“This is…” I trail off, clearing my throat. “When did this happen?”(
She blows out an uneven breath. “Remember that night about two months ago on the piano? Well, I got a little off whack with my pills, and we got so caught in the moment I sort of forgot.” Her chest heaves as she struggles to breathe. “I’ve known for a couple of weeks. That’s why Lila went to the doctor with me that day, to find out for sure. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just freaking out that I’d be too sad and ruin everything for you.”
“But you don’t seem sad now.” Anxious, yes. Scared, sure. Sad, not really.
She shrugs. “I’m coming to terms with it... Caroline kind of helped me this morning with a few things.”(
I swallow the lump in my throat. “So, you’re for sure… pregnant?”(
She swiftly nods. “Lila thought it’d be fun if I told you in some way special, so we came up with the painting idea.” She fidgets with the hem of her dress. “I’m not so sure now that it was a good idea, springing it on you like this. You look… a little pale.”
“I feel a little pale, but only because I’m trying to read you. I mean, we’ve talked about this enough that I was seriously starting to wonder if you’d ever be okay with having kids. And then it accidentally happened…” I trail off as I battle down my excitement. The last thing I want to do is celebrate if she’s not ready for that.
“I’ll be fine, Micha,” she assures me, tangling her fingers with mine. “I’m not going to lie; I freaked the fuck out when Lila first suggested it to me. But, the more time goes by, the more… I don’t know… I could see myself getting really into this.”
Smashing my lips together, I press back a smile, not wanting to get too excited until I know that she’s one-hundred percent okay with this. “Are you sure you’re good with this? Because you can always tell me how you feel. You know that, right?”(
She nods. “I do. And I’m not going to lie; I’m still scared as hell, but the idea of this”—she gestures at the last image on the canvas—“it makes me feel kind of bubbly inside sometimes when I think about it.”(
I let my smile slip through. “Good, because it makes me really, really happy.”(
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. I mean, I’m terrified as shit, but in a good, nervous, scared sort of way.”
When she smiles, I scoop her up in my arms and hug her tightly.
“Best Christmas present ever,” I say then press my lips to hers.
Chapter 11
A little less than two months later…
Ella
As I stand in front of the alter, waiting for the minister to pronounce Ethan and Lila husband and wife, all I can think is, my feet hurt so bad.
At a little over four months pregnant, heels were not the best choice of footwear. But, I love Lila enough that I’m trying to be a good sport and suck it up. Besides, she did have to go to over five stores to find the perfect bridesmaid’s dress that would fit over my little belly.
To endure the pain, I focus on the best man standing across from me, looking smoking hot in a black tux. I never really thought a tux could be sexy, but I’ll admit, I think my mind was changed today.
When Micha catches me checking him out, he winks at me. My stomach flutters with butterflies as I think about the time we stood up in front of our friends and swore our love for each other.