Mom had loved Ashton. I think she may have even picked out our china patterns at one point. Hearing her say that I needed to start “sampling the variety” was a major step for her. I walked across the room and bent down to place a kiss on the top of her head.
“Love you,” I said before turning to leave.
“I love you too, sweet boy,” she replied.
Chapter Twelve
Lana
“No, Daddy. It isn’t that I don’t want to be there. I do. It’s just that I’ve never been in New York City and I’ve never met Shandra. I’d feel more comfortable if I could bring someone with me.”
“You can bring anyone but your mother. I don’t want to have to deal with her. I do want you to make time to spend with Shandra. She really wants to get to know you. We’ve got some special news for you.”
“Special news?”
Dad cleared his throat and, covered the receiver on his phone, and spoke in a muffled voice to someone else. What other news could he have? He’d already dropped the marriage bomb on me. Surely, they weren’t moving to Alpharetta. That would be disastrous. My mother would not be able to leave the house without thinking everyone was talking about her or pitying her.
“Shandra wants me to go ahead and tell you. That way you can be prepared when you get here.”
“Okay—” I replied waiting with a sick knot in my stomach.
“You’re going to be a big sister,” he replied. His excitement was unmistakable.
“What? How? Does Shandra have a kid?” Nothing else made sense. Why would he think I’d be excited over a step-sibling I’d never get a chance to know?
“No, Shandra doesn’t have a kid, yet. You know how. You’re eighteen years old, Lana. You know how babies are made... don’t you? I assumed your mother explained that—”
“I KNOW how babies are made Daddy. What I don’t understand is... wait... she’s pregnant?” I asked in horror. My dad had gotten someone pregnant? He was almost fifty! Could old men do that? Ugh! Yuck. He was going to be like the kid’s grandfather.
Dad chuckled into the phone, “Yes, Shandra is pregnant. We’d planned on getting married this Christmas. She loves Christmas in New York but well, the baby will be here by Christmas so instead of waiting we decided to go ahead and have a summer wedding.”
I was speechless. How did one respond to this kind of news? I sank down on the backdoor steps of Ashton’s house and rested my forehead on my knees.
My dad continued to chatter on about the wedding and baby plans. They would be moving out of Manhattan and to New Jersey so that they could afford a house. I wouldn’t have a room but I could share the baby’s room when I came to visit. He told me I was welcome anytime.
“Lana?” Sawyer’s voice was a welcome distraction.
Lifting my head, I stared up at Sawyer who was standing in front of me with a worried frown. I wondered how much he’d heard.
“Daddy, I need to go. My, uh, friend just got here and we have plans. I’ll call you back later when I’ve decided what to do.”
“You are coming though—”
“I’m not sure Daddy, I need to go now. I’ll call when I know.” I clicked end before he could say anymore. I couldn’t yet stand up to leave; I needed a moment.
“You okay?” Sawyer asked, lowering himself to sit down beside me when it was obvious I wasn’t about to get up.
I started to nod my head and ended up shaking it “no” instead.
His arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me up against his side. That small offer of comfort caused my eyes to fill with tears. I buried my head into the curve of his arm, and tried to muffle the sob I couldn’t control.
Sawyer didn’t try to offer me any encouragement or pointless words. Instead, he held me tighter and dropped small little kisses on my hair, temple and forehead as I cried in his arms. I’d never really cried on anyone before. Opening myself up to sharing my emotions was new for me. The part of me that was shocked by this behavior was pushed aside as I soaked in all the comfort I could get. This would be fleeting but while I had it, I would take it.
After several minutes, I managed to control my tears. Reaching up, I wiped at my face. Thankfully, Dad had called me before I had a chance to put on makeup. I’d have been humiliated if I’d smeared mascara all over Sawyer’s white polo shirt.
“You want to talk about it?”
Sharing with Sawyer how my dad had a pregnant twenty-three year old fiancée wasn’t something I’d ever do. It was too much for me to take in. I didn’t want to see pity in his eyes when he looked at me. I preferred the lust or attraction. If he pitied me, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.
“No,” I replied, sitting back up and checking to see how wet I’d gotten his shirt.
“I’ll dry,” he assured me with a smile. I could still see the concern in his eyes as he searched my face. Part of me wanted him to know everything about me. Except a bigger part knew he’d never look at me the same if he knew how pathetic my life really was.
“Thank you.”
Sawyer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on each corner of my mouth before covering my mouth with his. He didn’t try to get me to open up for him. Instead, he kept it gentle and sweet. “Mmmmm—I’ve been thinking about those sweet lips all morning,” he whispered against my mouth.
Melting into him was easy and unavoidable. I couldn’t seem to get enough of Sawyer. He pulled back, way before I wanted him to and ran his hand through my hair before wrapping several curls around his fingers. “Why don’t you go finish getting ready? I’m anxious to get you all to myself for the day.”
My legs suddenly were in complete working order again. I stood up and smiled down at him, “Give me ten minutes.”
Sawyer stood up and started to follow me inside when he stopped. “Um, yeah, uh, I think I’ll just wait in the truck if that’s okay.”
Ashton wasn’t inside. She’d left with Beau an hour ago but I knew that wasn’t why he didn’t want to come inside. There had to be a lot of memories in this house he wasn’t ready to revisit right now.
“Okay, I won’t be long,” I assured him.
Sawyer
Pulling onto the dirt road that led out to the field seemed like a bad idea. I’d just spent the day with Lana, all alone. We’d bought her a sleeping bag, backpack and a few other supplies for our camping trip. Then instead of a movie she’d talked me into playing eighteen holes of putt-putt golf. It had sounded like a stupid idea but listening to Lana’s laughter and seeing her strut around when she’d gotten a hole-in-one had been more entertaining than any movie.